Adjusting to Life Alone - A Very Vulnerable Post

I almost didn’t share this. I began writing it just for myself, hoping it would help me process what I’m going through, what I'm feeling. But if there are other mothers out there going through the same thing, perhaps knowing they’re not alone will help them too.

I have been a mother for forty-six, almost forty-seven years. Over those years, I have watched my children grow up, leave school, find jobs, meet their spouses, and leave home to live their own lives. I missed them when they left and I shed many tears, but it’s a natural part of life.

I always thought I would be all right when all of my children left home because I’ve always enjoyed my alone time. It wasn’t until my youngest daughter left that I realised maybe I wouldn’t be okay — that enjoying alone time is very different from being alone.

When she left home just over three years ago, I went through a grieving process. Her leaving was softened by the fact that a few months earlier, my eldest granddaughter — who was twenty-five at the time — had moved in. I missed my daughter terribly. She had lived at home with me for twenty-nine years. But having my granddaughter there helped ease the sadness.

Now, after living with me for the past three years, my granddaughter has moved out. Apart from her dog, whom I’m looking after for a few months while she settles into her new life overseas, I am alone.

It didn’t really hit me until the next day. This was it. She was gone, and she wasn’t coming back to live here again.

I didn’t expect to miss her so quickly. I thought it would take a week or two, the way it did when she went away on holidays or housesat for people. I was surprised by how fast it happened.

I felt like I was grieving — but how can you grieve for someone who has simply moved on to a new chapter in their life? I always thought grief only happened when you lost someone.

I had heard of Empty Nest Syndrome but never felt the need to look into it until now. I had no idea that grieving was such a big part of it.

I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to do everything, but nothing. I have so much pent-up energy that I feel like I could run a marathon, yet I also just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I have no appetite, so I’m not eating properly. I want to sleep, but I can’t — as soon as I lie down, my mind starts racing. My anxiety is so bad at times that I feel like I’m suffocating.

It’s only been a few days since she left, and I now understand that what I’m feeling is part of the grieving process many parents go through when their last child leaves home. But knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less. This feeling — like there’s a huge hole in my chest — is awful.

I know it won’t last. I know it will take time to adjust to this new season of life. But as anyone who has grieved knows, when you’re in it, it feels like it’s never going to end. 

I’m also looking ahead a few months to when my granddaughter’s dog leaves to join her overseas. I’ll grieve that loss too — obviously in a different way — but having her here has softened the blow of my granddaughter leaving.

People have suggested I get a dog of my own, which is a lovely idea. But pets are expensive. There’s the cost of desexing, yearly vaccinations, food, and the possibility of an unexpected trip to the emergency vet. I’ve seen how much it has cost my children when they’ve needed emergency care for their pets. It’s not cheap, and it’s not something I can afford.

Four of my five children now live interstate, and pets do tie you down. Yes, I could use a boarding kennel when I visit them, but that’s another added expense. As much as I love the idea of having a dog, it just isn’t a feasible option for me.

I’m sure that if I had a loving, supportive partner, this transition might feel easier. But even on my own, I am not without strength. I have raised five children, weathered many seasons of life, and I know that I can grow through this one as well.

If there are any mothers — especially single mothers — reading this, do you have any advice? How did you cope with being an empty nester? I’d truly love to hear from you. Let’s talk about it. Let’s support each other through this.

I’ll be back soon with another post — hopefully a happier one.

Until then stay safe and be kind to each other. xo Janette.

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Gluten Free Products I'm Happy to Recommend

 I have a page dedicated to gluten free and dairy free products that I have tried and enjoyed, and I do keep it updated. Recently I have tried some new gluten free products that I really liked and thought that I would give them a post of their own before adding them to the other page.

I had seen Warburton's Tiger bread in Coles for a while now, but every time I ordered it, it was out of stock. Just recently I discovered that they have other products in their range and decided to give them a try. 

I tried the Super Soft white rolls first and I was surprised by how much like gluten bread they were. Soft, and pillowy, and they come pre sliced. As far as I'm aware Coles is the only Australian supermarket to stock Warburton's. 

I tried the crumpets next and I have to say they are the best gluten free crumpets I have ever had. I highly recommend them if you're a crumpet lover like me.

Next is Coles Finest Grain Free Granola . It's a combination of almonds, pecans, seeds, Australian honey and toasted coconut. While it's delicious as is you could add dried fruit for a little more sweetness or do what I do and have it with fruit yoghurt. 

The next two are both from Aldi. Belmont Biscuit Co's Scotch Finger and Shortbread Cream biscuits.

 They are delicious and you would never now that they were gluten free.

There you have it—five excellent gluten-free products that I am genuinely pleased with and happy to recommend.

I'll be back soon with a grocery haul and a meal plan soon. Until then stay safe and be kind to each other, Janette xo

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2026 A Low Spend Year - January Finances

Like a lot of other people, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to make ends meet nowadays. With the ever-increasing prices of life’s essentials—food, electricity, and rent or mortgage payments—our dollar does not go as far as it used to. So, I’ve decided that this year (and possibly the years to come) will be a very low-spend year. It’s more important than ever that I rein in my expenses, as at the end of this month, for the first time ever, I will be living alone and will have to cover the cost of everything myself.

The year did not start out very well, with an unexpected visit to the dentist for a sore tooth. I was going to wait until my next scheduled checkup at the beginning of April, but because the pain didn’t dissipate, I thought it would be wise to have it checked—and I’m so glad I did. It turned out that I had the beginnings of an infection at the root of the tooth. Thankfully, I have private health insurance, and I ended up paying only $160.40 AUD. In total, my health costs this month were my second-biggest expense, costing me $413.60.

My largest expense for the month—and the one that shocked me—was my grocery bill. I spent $548.38. For one person! Absolutely shocking.

Going forward I am going to have to be far more careful about my spending and with that in mind I have set myself a budget. My largest expense every month will be my rent. I am very lucky that my rent is quite low compared to the average rents in South Australia, but it accounts for more than one-third of the money I receive. I should mention here that I will be living on a pension with no other source of income, and my only debt is for my hearing aids which set me back $57.88 every fortnight and I will continue to pay this for another twelve months.  

My budget is divided into three categories. The first is household expenses, which cover things like rent, electricity, and water usage. The second category is personal bills, which include donations, TV subscription fees, internet, and a yearly mobile phone charge. The third category is my snowball accounts, which cover things like personal care, birthday and Christmas gifts, clothing and shoes, health care, an emergency fund. In addition, 10% of my income is allocated to long-term savings. I also have snowball accounts for books and DVDs, and gardening. These accounts only receive a small amount, which is automatically set aside every fortnight when I get paid. I will also have a small amount of personal spending money.

I haven’t forgotten about groceries. My monthly grocery budget will be $440.00. It’s tight, but I think it’s doable.

Lately, I’ve been watching Frugal Queen in France on YouTube, and I’ve decided to follow her approach. Of my $440.00 grocery budget:

• $260.00 will be for full-price groceries

• $88.00 will be set aside each month to check weekly for discounted items I regularly use, which will form my stockpile

• The remaining amount will be used to buy fresh fruit, vegetables, and bread as needed during the month. Any money that is left over at the end of the month, (one can hope), will either be rolled over into the next month's grocery budget or be added to the emergency fund.

So, there you have it. I wrote this post to not only keep myself accountable, but also in the hope that it might help others who are struggling. If managing money feels hard right now, you’re not alone—and I hope this post offers some encouragement.

I will be back at the end of next month to let you know how I went. 

Until then stay safe and be kind to each other, Janette xo

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Going, Going, Gone

And this time next year, there will be a shiny new Aldi store on the site.

There have been the usual concerns about the need for another supermarket, considering that there are already six supermarkets in our local council area, including an Aldi store, all of which perform well. However, with the ever-growing population in my town and the surrounding area, an additional supermarket would be beneficial.

I'm really looking forward to having an Aldi store in town. Although the other store is only a twenty-minute walk from my house, there is no public transport nearby, and as I don't drive this makes bringing groceries home difficult. The new store, however, is just a three-minute walk from a bus stop, making things much easier.

Until next time, stay safe and be kind to each other, Janette.

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What To Sow or Plant This Month

If you live in a temperate climate like I do and you haven’t already, March is the month to sow seeds for the winter garden.

Photo courtesy of Louisjos via Pixabay

There is still time to plant out basil and amaranth before the weather gets too cold. It’s also the time to plant out garlic cloves and chickory, horseradish, and Chinese (Wombok) Cabbage. Plant leek seedlings now as well.

You can sow burdock, carrots, corn salad (Lamb’s ear or mache), radish, rocket, shallots, and turnips directly in the garden.

Seeds that need to be sown in pots or seedling trays are members of the brassica family such as broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, collards, kale, pak choy, mizuna, mustard greens, swedes. Broad beans, chives, coriander, dill, endive, fennel, lettuce, New Zealand spinach, parsley, peas, silver beet (Swiss chard), spinach, and spring onions can all be sown now as well.   

This year, I’m keeping things simple and sticking to some of my tried and true favorites. If you’re looking to plant something reliable and delicious, you might want to consider these:

Broccoli: A fantastic source of vitamins and super versatile in the kitchen.

Snow Peas & Sugar Snap Peas: Perfect for snacking straight from the vine! They are perfect in a stir fry and add a sweet crunch to a salad. 

Carrots: I can’t imagine my vegetable garden without them. They never disappoint! Plus, there’s something so satisfying about pulling fresh carrots from the ground. 

Garlic, Onions, Shallots, and Leeks: Garlic is an essential ingredient for me; it’s my go-to aromatic. While I’m not a fan of onions due to their strong flavor, my daughter and son-in-law are currently living with me and use onions in nearly every meal. As a result, I will be planting some this year. Although I don’t enjoy onions, I do appreciate the flavors that leeks and shallots add to a dish, so I will find space for them in my garden as well.

Lettuce: The cooler months are the only time I can grow lettuce, so I take full advantage of having it in my garden.

Are you thinking about starting a winter vegetable garden this year? If so, what do you have planned? Are you excited to try out varieties that you've never grown before?

Until next time, happy gardening.

Janette.

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